Meltdown at the Library

Richard went a little nuts at the library today. The librarians called in the police and the police escorted Richard out. Everything is fine.

Always stay sweet.

Sweetheart

Richard is on Step 4

Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Well, Richard made a fearless inventory of the attic:

• 4 oscillating fans
• 18 sport coats
• Numerous white board erasers
• Many, many baseball caps
• 2 vacuums
• Lots of underwear
• 22 plaid shirts

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Hola!

Recently, Richard and I have taken up Spanish.

Siempre dulce,

Sweetheart

Memorial Day the Vegan Way

Richard has decided that he, Uncle Joe, and I are going vegan for Memorial Day. Richard is serving up the following:

• Veggie Hot Dogs (I won't eat anything with word the "dog" in it)
• Boca Veggie Burgers made with organic soy
• Veggie Baked Beans, non-dairy/gluten free/no cholesterol
• Chickpea Salad
• Veggie Ice Cream made with Agar-Agar flakes

Sound fun? (not). Sounds yummy? (not). Uncle Joe and I may slip out to the south side of the chalet and barbecue up a couple of burgers made from the finest USDA Blank Angus beef.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Sprucing Up the Attic - Part 2

This is the kitchen configuration Richard and I have decided upon. The island in the middle is a sweet touch and will give our guests a place to sip wine while Richard prepares one of his gourmet meals. The kitchen will be a bit pricey, but between Richard's job as a Certified Crash Test Dummy and my new job as Benji's stunt double we should be able to swing it. We still haven't decided on window treatments for the living room and den.

Always stay sweet,

Sweethear

Billy Mays vs. ShamWow Guy

Do you think Billy Mays (left) could take ShamWow Guy (below) in a wrestling match? I do. What the hey, I don't have a big life but this is the kind of thing i think about.






Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Real good news

Uncle Joe was sent home from the hospital (see previous post) wearing a toe tag. Upon closer inspection, Richard and I noticed a twitch in Uncle Joe's left hand pinky finger. Using Uncle Joe's car battery, 2 oven mitts, and some tin foil, Richard and I managed to construct a crude but effective defibrillator. Uncle Joe may not be up and around, but he is up and stumbling.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Uncle Joe Came Home Today!

Saturday, May 16th, Uncle Joe underwent surgery. He was suppose to be in the hospital for a couple of days, but to our good fortunes, mine and Richard's, Uncle Joe was sent home today, Sunday, May 17th. Unfortunately, this is how UPS delivered Uncle Joe to 863 Falls of Clyde Loop SE, Ocean Shores, WA, 98569. I didn't even know that UPS delivered on Sundays. On the positive side, Richard and I have a plan or 2 on how to clear out some of the clutter.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Uncle Joe is resting comfortably after his surgery

Uncle Joe has free wallet size photos of the abscess on his large intestine (actually, his colon, but I did not want to be indelicate). Just send a self-addressed stamped envelope (SASE) to:

Joesph T. Ryan
863 falls of Clyde Loop SE
Ocean Shores, WA, 98569

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Introduction

This is a picture of Bawk, the newest member of our luge team, Bumpy Runners.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Sprucing Up the Attic

2 window treatments Richard and I are considering for the attic.





Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Jet Pack

The Jet Pack Richard won on eBay arrived today. This is a picture of Richard jetting into Seattle. If Richard thinks this mode of transportation is safe he will bid on an "Asbestos Doggie Backpack Device (ADBD)" so we can jet together.

Richard may not be a Rockefeller, but he is definitely a Rocket Fella.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Dodgeball Update

We are disbanding our Dodgeball team, the Frontal Lobe Blasters. We were handily defeated by the Punaho Poi Pounders (upper left). We should never have played a bunch of elementary school kids that have 5 o'clock shadows.

Richard and I have taken
up luging. This is picture of Richard trying out for the St. Jerome luge team.

Here is a picture of me in my luging gear.






Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Thank you Aunt Nancy!

Thanks to Aunt Nancy's generous cash gift I will be able to get my hair cut this week. I'm beginning to look like a 4 legged toilet seat cover.

Richard and I have recently gone into the doggie day care business. This is a picture of me with a few of our charges.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Six-Pack Abs

Thanks to 4 of the 7 cats (Ralph, Rosie, Arnold, and Patricia) that jump on on Richard's stomach every day at 3:43 A.M , Richard is beginning to look darn buff.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Richard's New Career

Richard is now a Certified Crash Test Dummy (CCTD), "Dummy" being the operative word.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Sweetheart's Believe it or Not

Every so often Richard and I notice contrails, especially on our way to and from IGA. We even hear the roar of some type of engine, but we have never seen a prop nor a jet. Could Ocean Shores be the next Area 51?

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

New family in the Neighborhood

Uncle Joe, Richard, and I attended a lovely barbecue at our new neighbors (left). The food was delicious, especially the meat - moist and tender.

Funny thing, we have not seen Rosie, the calico cat, in a few days

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Summer Trip

Uncle Joe, Richard, and I have begun planning our summer vacation. At the top of our list is Rachel, Nevada, the UFO Capital of the World. We will be traveling in our new RV (left).

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Paris Troika

At left are pictures of Paris Troika, the former Soviet Union's version of Paris Hilton.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

This morning, 5:30 a.m. everything was going fine. Richard was reading "John Lennon - The Life". Then Rosie jumps on his head resulting in a broken nose and a slight concussion.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Kitty Butt Holes (sung to the tune of "Tiny Bubbles")

Kitty butt holes (kitty butt holes)
In the wine (in the wine)
Make me happy (make me happy)
Make me feel fine (make me feel fine)

Kitty butt holes (kitty butt holes)
Make me warm all over
With a feeling that I'm gonna
Love you till the end of time.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Our New RV

Here is a picture of the RV Richard purchased yesterday, We can fit all 7 cats, me, and Uncle Joe. Should be a fun summer.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

A New Poem

3 A.M

Kitty cat butt in my face
Wish I had a can of mace.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Dry at Last

Tomorrow Richard and I are going to the Goodwill store at 400 Cooper Point Rd SW , Olympia, WA‎. We had rain rain all today here in Ocean Shores so I am looking forward to rain gear. Wish us luck.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Basking Beasts

Richard and I have converted the attic into a Club House. Our club is called "Basking Beasts". Members in good standing are Richard (our Grand Poobah, below), Ralph, Patricia, Arnold,and Rosie. Oh yes, and me.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Cat Levitation

Richard and I have learned to levitate several cats just through our mind powers. As you can see, one cat landed on Richard's head. During the levitation session Richard got a phone call or something.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Another Saturday Night and I Ain't Got Nobody, well, except for Richard

We had rain all day today. Richard took me out 3 times today so today I stink like a dog. I need a day at the groomer.

Tonight, Richard and I are ordering a pizza and watching "March of the Penguins".

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

A New Part-Time Job

Richard and I had enough money left over from my bail to buy a metal detector for use at the beach. This device should bring us enough money to keep me in Beggin' Strips. And yes, maybe a trip to the groomer once in a while.




















Below is a picture of me in my dodgeball/dog sled racing gear.







Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart