Richard is getting his PhD tomorrow

Personal hygiene day:

-shower
-shave
-brush teeth
-change clothes

I am hoping he doesn't smell as much.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Stuffed Animals

These are the kind of stuffed animals Richard and I like.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Richard has given up news and politics

Richard does not:

-watch the news
-listen to the news
-read the news
-listen to talk radio
I'm hoping Richard is an ex-news/political junkie.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

About as good as it gets...

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

The Vacuum Guy

Richard and and I are pitching a "Super Hero" comic book series. The series is about cleaning with a vengeance.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Chimps at Sea

We think our last gorillas have taken over a sailboat here on the Pacific ocean. We have tracked them down and they should be in the zoo soon.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Gorillas in the Mitts

Since the breakout at the Aberdeen Zoological Park Richard and I have managed to capture and return 24 gorillas to the zoo. We have 4 more gorillas to go. Wish us luck and please pray for us.

As Catholics Richard and I know there must be a Patron saint of lost gorillas that we can pray to, we just can't come up with the name.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Jockey Shorts

Richard prefers wearing Jockey shorts over having a jockey in his shorts.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Our Guatemala trip

Richard and I enjoyed it, but cigar smoke made our eyes water. Richard and I have taken up mountain climbing here in WA.

Always stay sweet.

Sweetheart

Drink too much or think too much?

You tell us.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Gay Parie!

Richard's sister Nancy and her daughter are in Paris right now, I just need a pee, but it is rainy and windy. So no pee tonight.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Don't tell, don't swell

I hope President Obama keeps this policy in place.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Trapezoid?

Richard and a I are in a trap and we are both zoids. Does that make us trapezoids?

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart.

What is the difference between Vichyssoise and a slap in the face?

Vichyssoise doesn't hurt.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Immaculate Degeneration

Richard and I have a Catholic eye disease called Immaculate Degeneration. Please pray to a saint or 2 for us.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Ever since the walls of the Aberdeen Zoological Park fell down...

gorillas have been romping through our neighborhood. But honestly, the gorillas don't freak me out as much as the deer do..

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Barking dog

We have a new dog in the neighborhood that barks 24/7. What is the going price of a 150 lb real wood deer hunting crossbow with a free bolt and scope?

If it was a banking dog instead of a barking dog Richard and I might have received some free financial advise. Oops, I forgot, Richard and I have no finances except for what his ex-wife gives us.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Richard and I need a next step...

What do you think that might be?

A;ways stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Where's the beef?

Uncle Joe has taken up the pastime of checking out the food that Richard and I toss out.

Thankfully, Uncle Joe will have much more time this summer to pursue his passion.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Not quite on his feet again...

2 cats and a mangy, flea bitten mutt shoved Richard off the bed. Richard was told by the doctors that he would walk again in just a couple of days.

It may take a bit longer.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Richard and I have come to the conclusion that we are out here on the west coast for the duration...

we just don't know what the duration is.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Why do they call it kitty litter?

I've never seen an empty Starbucks coffee cup in it nor a Big Mac container.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Vodka makes the world go round...

or at least makes Richard's attic spin.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Our eternal lamp

This lamp stays on 24/7 up in the attic. Richard replaces the bulb about every 3 weeks. I feel like Richard and I have died and now live in Arlington Cemetery.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Uncle Joe's new vocations

Thank you Heavenly Father that Uncle Joe has quit his job at the prison. May Uncle Joe's Ufology and his virtual guitar playing become lucrative,

Our only problem is the mortgage. Richard and I have slept in the car before, but we are not looking forward to it.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

About Richard's sobriety

Richard tells me that "sobriety" is a relative term. This is a picture of a few of Richard's relatives that seem to be sober.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Our wind event...

was very disappointing. Richard and I have attended farting contests with more wind.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Though Richard and Kristen are no longer a couple...

I hope they remain friends.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Our prayer

Richard and I are praying that Kristen meets a solid guy. Someone like a Skip Shaw or a Leigh Henry.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Wind event

We are having a "wind event" tomorrow. Please include us in your prayers.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Adopt a pet from your local ASPCA

Richard and Uncle Joe adopted me and life is pretty damn good.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Richard died again today

The EMTs resuscitated him. Richard poured himself a glass of vodka and watched Wife Swap.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Bummer

Richard was rushed to the hospital today after falling face first into a boiling pot of water in which he was cooking a hot dog. He is not as cute as he once was, but he still looks pretty darn good.

He ate the hot dog.

Guatemala is just wonderful, but what the heck is a "sandy sister" ?

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

A glorious day here in Ocean Shores

Fair

Feels Like:

48°

Barometer:

30.11 in and falling

Humidity:

52%

Visibility:

10 mi

Dewpoint:

31°

Wind:

E 5 mph

Sunrise:

7:33 am

Sunset:

7:20 pm

Richard took me for a walk and the cats for a drag.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

My loveable idiot

Richard has not changed his clothes; has not showered; has not shaved; has not brushed his teeth in the past 5 days. Should I be concerned?

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

You know you have hit bottom when...

the highlight of your day is counting your toes.

Always stray sweet,

Sweetheart

Our new job

Richard and I are leaving for Guatemala at 8 pm our time, Richard and I are joining something called the Sandinista National Liberation Front.

Please pray for us.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

The best thing about alzheimers...

Richard and Uncle Joe never run out of things to talk about.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Nothing pithy today

Had ideas for a couple of pissy blogs. Decided not to post.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

You know you've hit bottom when...

you fish a half eaten quarter pounder out of the garbage, pop it in the microwave, eat it, and then wash it down with glass of vodka. Richard did just that about an hour ago.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

I need a new name

Richard calls me "Sweetie Sweetheart" as we walk up and down Falls of Clyde loop. Richard sounds so gay (I have no problem with that). Maybe Richard should rename me "Chomper".

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Richard's favorite song

Does anybody really know what day it is? Does anybody really care?

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

One of our cats on a hot tin bike

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Sprung backwards?

Our time zone has changed. Is it sprung backward and spring forward? Complicated question. Richard and I don't know what day it is.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Richard's new love interest

This is Carla, an ex-flight attendant, I hope she will like me.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

Never incur the wrath of 4 twisters

Oops, I meant "sisters"

Richard and I did incur the wrath and believe you me it is not a good place to be.

I am speaking of Kristen, Lyn, Monica. and Kerry

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

A new career?

Richard has applied for a job at Wynn Las Vegas Resort and Country Club. Richard's goal is to become a Black Jack dealer.

We may have to live in the car for a few days, but this could be lucrative.

Let us pray: May Richard become a Black Jack dealer and earn enough money to feed me.

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart

We have reduced the cat sleeping rules to just 1

No puking in Richard's bed. I've heard Richard pray "Please Heavenly Father, no cat puke in the bed this morning."

Always stay sweet,

Sweetheart